A Photographer’s Journey to Mediation. Member Spotlight: Stan Ruddie
Stan Ruddie wasn’t always so outgoing. Growing up in a fundamentalist, religious household, Stan sought comfort in photography darkrooms. He was in a world apart there, spending hours upon hours developing film. His love for photography eventually got him out in the world, however, and he hasn’t gone back since. Stan’s passion for activism, traveling, and legal ethics has fostered his burgeoning talent in mediation. As a new member, Stan is coming to MBBI with an open mind and an eagerness to learn more about peacebuilding.
In 2017, Stan was invited by Maryland activists to join Community Mediation of the Upper Shore. The organization has worked with courts, schools, prisons, commissioners, and families to incorporate the Inclusive Mediation style developed in Maryland. Some of the challenges of non-profit community mediation include securing funding through grants and other outreach work. Stan, as a board member, advocates for the organization and facilitates mediation sessions.
Inclusive mediation is voluntary, confidential, and has the two parties suggest their own solutions. Using a five-step plan, this type of mediation emphasizes feelings and identifies what the most important values are for each topic and person. For Stan, it has been extremely rewarding to observe when two parties come to a session with animosity, but leave with hugs and apologies.
Stan lives on Kent Island in Maryland’s Chesapeake Bay. Over the years, Stan has been involved in a variety of initiatives to protect the Bay and its historical significance. Stan spearheaded the Kent Island Defense League (aka Up Against the Wall) in 2002 to protest large-scale development, big box stores, loss of farmland, and sewage pollution. The League was successful in passing two referendums in the election cycle to limit over-development. During this period of activism, Stan describes how he “was more of a troublemaker,” more likely to be a participant of mediation rather than a facilitator. The League often had to get lawyers involved and wasn’t afraid to create problems for the developers.
Since discovering mediation, Stan marvels at the deeply personal changes he’s experienced. “It is so much more spiritually relaxing to get along than it is to damage people who are just trying their best.” Stan has learned how to be a better listener, as well as the value of finding common ground instead of participating in arguments.
Stan owes this change in part to his work in technical support during U.S. congressional committee hearings, legal depositions, and court cases. Observing judges and negotiators opened his mind to the value of rational, ethical peace processes. Stan went back to school in his 40s to become a paralegal, and now occasionally facilitates Human Resource training. He also has worked as Chairman of Queen Anne’s County Ethics Commission, helping to rewrite Maryland’s ethics laws.
As a professional photographer, Stan has a unique perspective and approach to mediation. He is used to finding harmony in disorder—surprisingly, getting an entire wedding party to cooperate isn’t too dissimilar from facilitating a mediation session. In both photography and mediation, there is a certain need to “decode the façade” and get to the core of people’s feelings. As Stan notes, “People lie all the time. Body language never lies.” In this way, Stan’s photography expertise has greatly aided him in his mediation work.
As an avid traveler who visited over 20 destinations last year alone, Stan is looking forward to attending the MBBI Peace Summit in Lima, Peru. As he says, “Traveling is the best education.” MBBI is the perfect place for Stan to broaden his horizons even more. He is also excited about getting involved with MBBI’s climate change project at the UN. Stan’s curiosity, non-judgement, and maturity make him incredibly well-suited to contribute to MBBI’s community.
Article by Elsie Aleck, MBBI Writer