Curiosity, Humiliation, and the Psychology Behind Mediation. Member Spotlight: Ben Pogue
Ben Pogue brings together his extensive experience in a variety of fields to passionately serve communities in South Carolina and beyond. As a trial and litigation attorney, professor of law, strategy consultant, skilled mediator, and former meteorologist, Ben reaches an exceptionally diverse audience, delivering compassion, humility, and hope to each individual he impacts.
Early Influence and the Path to Mediation
Born and raised in Mount Vernon, Virginia, Ben was surrounded by international activity and the buzzing diversity of the DC area growing up. From a young age, Ben felt drawn to giving back to his community and helping others. Some of his first memories of conflict resolution and the power of dialogue are rooted in his experiences at So Others Might Eat, a shelter in D.C. where Ben volunteered to help unhoused folks. From the age of twelve, Ben recalls being taught the importance of de-escalation through conversation and connecting to others by serving as a supportive outlet. He reflects, “From that early age, thinking about what people need to move forward into a space of safety and calm became integral to all that I was doing. Whether I was talking about hurricanes and tornadoes as a meteorologist or reporting on some other issue, I always found myself gravitating toward figuring out how I could help educate others in a way that is not threatening, meeting people where they are with information that they can process so that they can adjust their own behavior to see a clear path forward.”
Blending Psychology and Law
With his mother being a psychologist, Ben has long been interested in discovering the science behind human behavior and the shaping of individual perspectives. He earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology from William & Mary in 1991. Today, in his work as an adjunct professor at the Charleston School of Law, Ben continues to weave psychology into his curriculum. His courses in ‘Alternative Dispute Resolution’ and ‘Interviewing, Counseling & Mediation’ emphasize grasping how people need to be communicated with, analyzing what they’re saying and not saying, and identifying what they’re avoiding. In his ‘Strategy and Tactics’ course for litigation and negotiation, topics such as behavioral economics, loss aversion, and game theory often arise. In mediation specifically, behavioral economics and game theory play important roles in aligning people to move forward and cooperate. “The short version of behavioral economics is system one and system two. Are we going to be reactive? Or are we going to be more rational and considerate of other opinions? In order to do that, you must feel secure, not threatened. This is a huge part of conflict resolution–how can we make somebody feel safe? How can we make people feel comfortable and willing to open up? What’s most important is seeing the values of each party as nuanced–it’s a mixed-motive game where everybody can find a solution.”
The Power of Weather
After graduating from William & Mary, Ben moved to Charleston where he registered for broadcast journalism classes at Virginia Commonwealth University. Initially interested in becoming a sportscaster, Ben shifted toward weather, leading him to serve for nearly a decade as a broadcast meteorologist, anchor, and reporter for News 2 and News 14 Carolina. His childhood on the Potomac influenced this path, as he saw firsthand how natural forces impacted his community. “I really like the idea of helping my community to make sure that people are safe and to help them appreciate all the wonder and information about weather, which I still find fascinating.” When Hurricane Katrina hit in August of 2005, Ben questioned the extent of his impact on the news, feeling his work held more potential to help others. Frustrated by restrictions barring him from covering damage in affected communities, Ben took matters into his own hands. As soon as he could, he left the newsroom to volunteer with the Red Cross. Within a matter of weeks, Ben found himself in Lufkin, Texas, delivering supplies to overcrowded shelters in dire need of support. Some weeks later, Ben himself was running a shelter. He was struck with “the persistent thought that what these people truly needed were lawyers, not somebody telling them what to wear because of the weather.” Less than one year later, Ben was enrolled as a J.D. candidate at the Charleston School of Law, bringing his vision of tangible, sustainable impact to fruition. “I’ve always been interested in helping people to understand a different kind of perspective that invited them to be a bit less defensive about what is going on, and to address conflicting issues to move forward–this is the foundation of conflict resolution.” Not long into Ben’s legal career, opposing counsels began asking him to mediate cases. His role as mediator expanded beyond legal cases and into community mediation between groups such as elected officials, nonprofits, and the police.
Addressing Implicit Bias in Mediation
Ben emphasizes the importance of addressing one’s own bias as a first step in mediation. Referencing his work with Hispanic/Latine and historically red-lined neighborhoods in the Charleston area, Ben highlights the intersection of conflict that arises when confronting vastly different experiences. “You’ve got 30 different Latin American countries on one side of the ledger. Understanding that people have these vastly different experiences and understanding that language differences are a part of everybody’s life is incredibly important. Understanding that it’s not wrong to say, ‘I don’t understand where you’re coming from…’ is part of the progress. As mediators, you are constantly learning and there is always more work to be done.”
Feeling secure in the fact that we all have bias is a key lesson Ben makes sure to teach his students. The act of confronting bias and understanding it as a natural phenomenon is an important first step in mediation. For Ben, identifying your bias “helps you become curious about somebody else’s perspective and where you might be missing something, rather than starting out at a point of defensiveness.” Abandoning defensiveness and embracing humility is also a key theme for Ben, emphasizing his focus on maintaining respect, humbleness, and authenticity in everything he does. In situations of danger or fear, “mediators remind others of the importance of letting their guard down, dropping the bravery and courage, and becoming vulnerable.” Considering somebody else’s perspective with respect and validity “can allow you to be that hero to the people who depend on you.”
Contributing to the Solutions of Others
For Ben, being part of someone else’s solution is one of the most meaningful aspects of mediation. Knowing he possesses the capacity to contribute to someone else’s success and happiness is motivation for him. “It’s amazingly fulfilling to see somebody else’s mindset change… to have them consider another point of view, which is really difficult these days, is so valuable. We ought to admit that it is a really courageous, brave thing to do. To see somebody else’s perspective and to say, ‘I might be wrong,’ is really fulfilling.”
“If you feel threatened, you cannot feel curious.”
A major piece of advice that Ben offers is to remain grounded in humility, and to recognize the element of curiosity that goes along with understanding our own biases. Ben references a quote by Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, stating “if you feel threatened, you cannot feel curious.” This quote underscores the negative impact of threat on one’s ability to actively listen and understand alternative perspectives in a situation of conflict, as threat heightens the natural instinct to shut down curiosity and switch on self-preservation. Focusing on keeping yourself grounded in “curiosity and humility when it comes to the world around you, especially if you’re entering a conflict where your duty is to see both sides and be open minded… is tremendously rewarding.”
Looking Ahead and MBBI Involvement
Ben is eager to become more involved in MBBI’s climate change project, reincorporating his personal background and interests in weather, natural disasters, and community impact. He believes mediators play a crucial role in addressing environmental issues by helping stakeholders communicate effectively and fostering dialogue around scientific topics. “Having people who are skilled in talking about science in a way that is received by others is really important in an era where climate change poses devastating risks. Mediators can act as neutrals to help lower the temperature in the room and facilitate productive discussions.”
Ben is currently writing a book on strategy, bringing together his background in psychology and his experience in conflict resolution. His research explores how some historic strategic maxims can be applied to various situations, namely in dispute resolution. In recognition of his contributions to the field, Ben has been named the upcoming recipient of the South Carolina Bar Association’s Cotton Harness “Peace” Award. Ben feels incredibly grateful for the opportunities he has had, reflecting on the privilege of growing up with exceptional resources, a loving family, and a supportive partner. He credits these influences for his dedication to conflict resolution and his desire to uplift others. As Ben looks forward to further involvement in MBBI, he remains enthusiastic about the chance to collaborate with a vibrant community of like-minded professionals, united by the shared goal of fostering peace and understanding in the world.
Article by Sarah Stenovec, MBBI Writer