Seeing Conflict from a Different Angle than Emotion. Member Spotlight: Adrienne Sorensen

Adrienne is a court mediator based in Sacramento, California. Born and raised in the California Bay Area, Adrienne went to college at CSUS in Sacramento and majored in Communications with a concentration in Rhetoric Analysis. After college, she was an Airforce Reserve and went into a job in the sales industry. However, after making a career shift towards work that would be more personally fulfilling, Adrienne was drawn to mediation. As a court mediator, Adrienne brings warmth, intelligence, depth, and genuine compassion to the work she does. Today she feels truly fulfilled by her job, as she follows her passion and provides people with the key skills they need to solve their own conflicts and transform their lives.

Adrienne’s Path to Mediation

When Adrienne was in college, she was told that she would do very well in sales. Based on her character, education, skillsets, and the influences around her, she decided to begin a career in the field. However, she had never felt a draw to it personally. Though she was indeed quite good at sales, the work was unfulfilling and left her feeling empty. After many years in the field, Adrienne finally began searching for a way to change her career and lifestyle. She soon became a Project Lead on the project management side of her company and did this for several years while trying to better understand herself and assess what she was really looking for in her career transition. She worked at the ministry for her church on and off as well.

Then, Adrienne came upon mediation. During a very detailed career course that she was taking at the time, mediation had appeared as a top match for her. She was very interested in by the possibilities in the field and began volunteering as a mediator for about six months. Then, she was offered a job by the court. Adrienne was thrilled, and has enjoyed her job ever since.

“Now I absolutely love my work. I find it extremely rewarding and fulfilling, especially when in the cases that I have, the clients don’t come back. If they don’t come back to court, I’m assuming things have been resolved.”

As a court mediator, Adrienne works in the civil harassment department for the criminal justice system. In this role, she deals with a broad range of mediation cases from tenant/landlord to neighbor/neighbor to father/son. While she generally works on cases that center on personal boundaries and relationships, the court commissioner hand picks cases that he thinks would be best for mediation, so Adrienne also works on occasional commercial cases as well.

Between Emotion and Logic

Adrienne’s personal background provides her with important perspectives and motivation for her work. Adrienne grew up in a single-parent home, with a mother who worked extensively to support them. However, being raised between her grandmother and her mother, Adrienne learned about conflict from an early age. When her mother re-married into a large, diverse new family, Adrienne was again thrust into a new world of conflict and turbulent dynamics. Adrienne’s mother is from the Philippines, and the cultural differences between her mother’s culture and her own experience as a first generation American marked her childhood as well.

When Adrienne was young, she was often told that she was less emotional than others. However, she recognizes that it may have been a coping mechanism since she didn’t know any better. When her mother re-married, Adrienne found herself becoming more passionate and dynamic. As she grew older, she found a middle ground between her emotions and logic. Yet looking back, Adrienne wishes she’d had a bit more guidance. As a mediator this motivates her to give people the support and tools than she would’ve liked to have. While her upbringing was complex, it was also very rich and brought her to the person she is today. Adrienne recognizes that all she’s learned, even in the more difficult moments, can contribute to her skillsets now.   

“I think that nothing is wasted. Now I feel like I can present these gifts to other people, and they can pass it on to the next generations.”

In order to bring logic into mediations that are often ripe with emotion, Adrienne starts by setting firm ground rules on the process. She then shows both parties true compassion. During the whole session, she likes to remain as logical as possible, which helps to ground the parties even if they continue fighting. Whether her clients get an agreement or not, Adrienne always congratulates them at the end of the session for having made it through the stages of mediation, and for having made the effort to work through their conflicts despite how challenging it may be. 

“What I love about my job is helping people resolve conflicts in a more logical, neutral way. I love helping people see conflict from a different angle than emotion.”

Highlights of Adrienne’s Work

“Doing mediation work is a blessing. I wish I had done it earlier, but I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

One of the things that Adrienne appreciates most about her work is the fact that the mediation is free for the community. She feels like it’s a gift for those she serves, as they may not have had the means to pay for pricey mediation processes. Adrienne feels very passionate about teaching people how to resolve their issues outside of court and feels inspired when she experiences clients truly changing their perspectives. When clients have been embroiled in conflict for so long, she recognizes the importance of the more objective view mediation can provide.

“I like helping my clients feel like they’re in control. Inside of being in the hands of a judge, they have the responsibility and ability to solve their own conflicts.”

To Adrienne, getting an agreement is a bonus, but it isn’t necessarily the most rewarding part of her work. She feels most fulfilled when she is able to work on heartbreaking cases and bring people to a better place. She is especially sensitive to cases where minors are involved. In these cases, she enjoys seeing the mindset shifts that can occur for both the minors and even their parents, as she knows that these really have the potential to be lifelong lessons. The process of mediation provides an alternative to punitive measures for misdeeds like bullying or assault, and Adrienne feels that she helps teach young people a different way to deal with their difficult emotions. When they don’t come back, she knows that her work has really made an impact.

“It’s most rewarding to be able to shift people’s perspectives. Knowing that there’s many different ways to handle conflict, now they know how to choose a more mature, civil way.”

Following Curiosity 

Thinking back on her experience, one lesson Adrienne would like to share with those starting their careers is to follow your curiosity. When Adrienne was starting out her family was focused on the medical field or real estate. Growing up, choosing a career just for money was the only path that Adrienne knew. However, this style of work made her feel empty. She felt trapped and hadn’t learned the skillsets for anything else. Yet she knew there had to be a different way.

The career course that Adrienne took while she was shifting her professional life changed everything for Adrienne. The course assessed her personality, skills, and passions, and mediation quickly popped up as an option. Though she initially wondered why it popped up, Adrienne noted that it had interested before in college when she studied communication. At the time, she was surrounded by people in sales and the business field, and they looked down on it. Now that Adrienne has gotten in touch with herself and understood what drives her as a person, she wishes that she had simply followed this curiosity earlier on in life.

“Be true to who you are, be authentic. There’s nothing wrong if you’re different from your family or those around you. Follow that.”

Today, Adrienne is still full of curiosity. She is very excited to continue a career in mediation, however that looks. At the moment she’s taking courses from the International Mediation Institute and from the ADR Institute of Canada. Adrienne is very curious about many types of mediation, but is drawn to elder care, immigration related issues, and possibly even mediation for animals. After her courses, she plans to continue studying different specialties of mediation. Adrienne feels that she’s always a student, and continuous keeps her mind open to any new learning possibilities.

Looking Forward

In the future, Adrienne is excited to take her work internationally. She loves to learn about other people’s background, cultures, religions, and upbringings and has always been fascinated by how these factors mold people and their interaction with conflicts. Moving forward, she would love to connect with other mediators who have gone from mediating domestically to internationally. She would also be interested in hearing from other members who transitioned to mediation later in their careers.

According to Adrienne, her own career transition to mediation has increased her optimism, flexibility, and perspective on her life and personal circumstances. Adrienne recognizes that for many, starting mediation marks a very difficult moment in life. She knows how easily the stress of conflict can cause people to lose sight of a better future. However, Adrienne has always believed strongly in the power of hope. As she continues to explore her passions in mediation, she aims to add optimism and light to people’s lives instead. Despite taking a longer route to get to the career she loves so much now, Adrienne’s compassion, thoughtfulness, and unique perspective undoubtably help restore the hope her clients had lost. Looking forward, her career is bright.

“There is hope in all crises. There is hope in resolving any type of conflict. Mediation brings the opportunity to help others see this in a new way.”

 Article by Elise Webster, MBBI Writer