Spiritual Pragmatism in Mediation. Member Spotlight: Ankur Shah Delight
When it comes to dedication to nonviolence and conflict resolution, Ankur Shah Delight embodies a holistic, deeply personal approach. His journey–rooted in lived experience and an unwavering commitment to nonviolence–has led him to an ever-evolving role as a mediator. From his formative experiences in a small town in Washington to his extensive global travels and current focus on divorce mediation, Ankur’s trajectory is one of constant exploration, growth, and service.
Early Encounters with Conflict
Finding himself on the periphery of the majority in the small town of Sequim in Northwest Washington, Ankur’s early life was shaped by an acute awareness of difference and conflict. Throughout his youth, Ankur understood the concept of conflict avoidance as a sort of “survival mechanism” in terms of social dynamics and learning how to communicate with, listen to and understand others effectively. He recognized the importance and value of “not only surviving but also thriving in society” as a meaningful, essential part of a larger whole. These early experiences honed his ability to listen, adapt, and facilitate dialogue—skills that would later define his career.
Intellectual Awakening and the Path to Nonviolence
Ankur attended Stanford University where he earned two interdisciplinary degrees, the first being in mathematical and computational science, and the second in literature and philosophy. A number of courses Ankur followed during his undergraduate career positively impacted his trajectory into a future career dedicated to nonviolence and helping others. One course that was particularly politically enlightening for him was a class on the work of Noam Chomsky, an American public intellectual known for his work in linguistics, social criticism, and analytic philosophy. This course pushed Ankur beyond his learned concepts of mainstream history and politics from a first world, American perspective, shattering his assumptions about history, power and justice. “It was personally upsetting,” he recalls. “I grew up on the wrong side of history and oppression. That realization broke some key aspect of my identity.”
The other major academic course that fundamentally shifted Ankur’s outlook on life was a directed reading class on the history and philosophy of Anarchism. It was during this seminar that Ankur first encountered Gandhi and his principles of nonviolence––an encounter that would set him on a path of self-exploration and, unexpectedly, spirituality.
Travel, Language, and Communication in Shaping a Mediator
Rather than conforming to a typical college graduate trajectory upon concluding his time at Stanford, Ankur elected to continue studying, but in a different theater than academics–Ankur began studying human society. For him, this looked like a decade-long journey exploring village life and grassroots movements around the world to gain a deeper understanding of what nonviolence can look like in different societies. Ranging from establishing a vegetarian gift-economy restaurant in Brazil to retracing Gandhi’s Salt March in India, Ankur’s lived experiences broadened his education in the complexities of social dynamics and nonviolence. Travel was more than exploration for Ankur–it was an immersion into different cultures, and more importantly, into different ways of being.
“Travel has been one of my greatest teachers… I can’t imagine who I would be without it. I experienced a visceral transition from having one single perspective to seeing so many different perspectives, all of which were so sure in their reflection of the world.” Language, too, played a critical role in Ankur’s understanding of human connection. While learning multiple languages, including French and Portuguese, he discovered the unexpected benefits of limited vocabulary in conflict resolution and dialogues. “When you don’t have a sophisticated language to navigate emotions, you are forced to be direct—‘I’m angry,’ ‘I don’t like this’—which actually helps resolve conflict faster.”
Challenges in Mediation
When asked about the biggest challenges facing mediation today, Ankur points to the increasing polarization in contemporary society. Circling back to conflict avoidance, he explains the detriment of normalizing the avoidance of debate, disagreement, and difference between humans. “For a long time, dominant narratives could suppress minority perspectives.
However, now that we see more diversity of power, that’s no longer possible.” True mediation, for Ankur, requires more than surface-level diversity and inclusion efforts. “There is little commitment to actual diversity and dialogue,” he shares. “We need to create spaces where vastly different perspectives can genuinely co-exist and form inclusive, representative narratives together. Otherwise, we risk deepening divisions rather than bridging them.” As a self-proclaimed spiritual pragmatist, Ankur explains his acceptance of not knowing the answers to the big questions in life. Instead, he focuses on what helps people act towards their values. Steadfast in his commitment to truth, nonviolence and justice as foundational values, Ankur seeks to bring hope to all those he works with. For him, mediation is more than a profession—it is a calling. “I love every aspect of it. It’s intimate, it’s improvisational, and it allows me to help people at critical moments in their lives.”
Future Goals and Aspirations
Ankur’s dream is to exercise his involvement in mediation to have a real impact on the world and reduce human suffering. Currently, Ankur is focusing on building a divorce mediation practice—a surprising but strategic choice inspired by his mentor, renowned mediator Kenneth Cloke. “Ken told me, ‘If you want to do international conflict resolution, start with divorce mediation. It’s the closest thing to it.’” Before diving into the foreign field of divorce mediation, Ankur assumed a variety of different roles across software engineering, software consulting, executive coaching, and conflict coaching.
In his weekly newsletter, The Future of Conflict, Ankur mines conflict or mediation-related books for insights that help create “a beloved community out of diversity and chaos.”
Ankur additionally helped start a group on LinkedIn called The Magic in Mediation Community of Practice, with the goal of providing a space for transformational mediators to build community, confidence, inspiration, and skills through monthly meetings. It aims to primarily attract people who have taken Kenneth Cloke’s trainings, however, it is open to anyone interested in transformative mediation.
Optimism and Possibility
Whether mediating divorces or navigating the complexities of social systems, Ankur Shah Delight approaches mediation with a unique combination of intellectual depth, spiritual inquiry, and pragmatic optimism. His journey is a testament to the power of personal transformation in shaping collective healing. As he continues his work, a deep commitment to the principles of nonviolence and reconciliation will fiercely shine through.
Article by Sarah Stenovec, MBBI Writer