Creating Moments of Connection Is A Core Human Skill. Member Spotlight: Jody Leff
Jody Leff is a mediator and long-time nonprofit executive and leader from Washington state. In the latter half of an impactful 25-year career in the nonprofit sector, Jody found her way into formal mediation, and has been deeply involved in conflict resolution on the community and state level ever since. Throughout her life, Jody has always had a talent for making people feel seen, heard, and understood. She’s learned to hold space and create dialogue in even the most complex and painful circumstance. In this way, Jody undoubtably transformed lives. As she now turns her focus towards mentoring women in leadership roles, Jody continues to amplify authenticity, empathy, hope and the belief that together, we can still make the world a better place.
Jody’s Background
Jody grew up in a small town in Washington state, which influenced her desire to explore life in a big city as soon as she could. She went to Seattle for her bachelor’s degree in Conservation Biology & Ecology at the University of Washington. After graduating, Jody went into research for a few years and realized that what she most enjoyed was writing grant proposals and journals. From there, Jody decided that she wanted an administrative background to support the causes she cares most about, and went on to get a master’s in Nonprofit Management from Regis University.
Jody’s years of experience in research and administration led her into a long and dynamic career. She worked various roles in the nonprofit field for about 25 years, engaging her various skillsets and passions. However, at the back of her mind, Jody had always recognized an interest in conflict resolution. She was first introduced to mediation through previous courses she had taken and her work in with non-profits. Ten years ago, Jody decided to shift tracks and formally become a mediator.
Impact in Conflict Resolution
“I always knew in the back of my mind, someday I want to be trained as a mediator.”
Jody’s time working in conflict resolution has been equally fruitful. In 2004, she began volunteering in a local community mediation center called Dispute Resolution Thurston. Several years later, she was invited to join the Board of Directors. Jody served on the Board for 3 years, while taking trainings and starting a practicum. After her board position, she was selected at the Executive Director of the organization in 2016. She then went on to spend another 8 years as the Executive Director, and in July of this year she rotated out.
Jody also served on the National Association for Community Mediation Board of Directors for 3 years and stayed on several committees afterwards. Additionally, she worked in volunteer leadership roles in the statewide organization Resolution Washington. She was Co-President for two years and served as the contracted Interim Executive Director for one year to help Resolution Washington transition into a staff-led organization. In this way she helped to forge the path for the organization’s transition, at the same time as running her community mediation center. This experience in particular helped her understand what it takes to lead well at a higher level and create a pathway for future leaders to move forward.
Recently, Jody became a member of MBBI, and in spring of 2023, she heard about the Peace Conference in Nairobi. She was excited about the opportunity to visit Kenya and decided to attend. At the conference, she was deeply moved by the strength of the global network of mediators that she found. Jody felt that her time in Nairobi was very affirming, and the connections she made there allowed her to return to Africa again last spring with her son.
“Looking back on my path, I know that mediation and being a peacemaker has been a through line in my entire life.”
While it’s just in the last decade that Jody has been a certified mediator and more recently connected to MBBI, the impetus for peacebuilding and making sustainable and equitable change has always been a strong part of her commitment to service. Even though she is no longer running the community mediation center, she will continue to mediate in her community. She is also volunteering as a mediator with the State Department of Corrections, where she has taken on the deeply challenging but valuable work of facilitating dialogue between incarcerated people who have committed violent crime, and those who they have harmed.
Why Do You Mediate?
“When you facilitate dialogue and you’re able to hold space for people so that there’s enough room for these little momentary internal shifts, there’s nothing quite like it. You can really see in those moments, that it’s transformational.”
Jody feels that in her community and even familial structure, she’s always had an eye for the ways that we can “miss” each other. For her, the moments of connection, in which people truly see and hear one another are some of the most special parts of the work she does. She explains that the feeling of connection and understanding is almost palpable, no matter whether it’s family mediation or a landlord and a tenant. Jody feels that it’s a gift to do the work she does.
“It’s very telling that mediation attracts people from so many different disciplines, and I believe that’s because it’s so universally applicable. As humans we want to be connected, and it says something that mediation resonates with people from every walk of life. It’s a core human skill.”
Jody mentions that there are many societal and cultural pressures and influences that deeply affect people’s mindset about what should or should not happen. She has seen that those are particularly hard to overcome. It requires great patience to help people into the space where they can accept change. Jody empathizes deeply with the fact that many people who struggle to face conflict and have lost their optimism about the future. But another key part of her role is to spread hope. It energizes her to remind them of all the change we can accomplish, and have already accomplished, when we find our agency and sense of possibility again.
Specialties in Mediation
Though Jody is clearly experienced in many different contexts of mediation, an area that she particularly feels called to is family mediation. She recognizes that many mediators get burned out by the exhausting and heart wrenching dynamics, so she promised herself that she would stay in it. As someone who does have the ability to hold those spaces and show up for people who are going through such difficult conflicts, she wants to maintain a commitment to those people. It’s always been in her nature to help people slow down, take a look at what’s most important to them, and communicate those needs and interests in a way that doesn’t alienate the other party.
Jody feels similarly about the work that she’s been doing between incarcerated individuals and those who they’ve harmed. She sees that many mediators don’t have any desire to be working on cases like that because of how excruciating and complex they are. However, she recognizes that she has the capability and the capacity to be in those situations when a lot of people would say “no way”, and this only affirms to her even more that it’s where she should be.
“The real throughline for me is wanting to help others recognize the humanity that we all share. It really serves us well when we can remember our connectedness, and work from a place of truly grounded personal presence.”
Another area of mediation and work in general that Jody feels particularly passionate about is supporting women. She’s always happy to coach women through the contexts and difficulties that they face, and anytime she has the chance to work with them one on one she’s very happy to do that.
Lessons on Leadership
“When I look at the problems of the world today, I believe that to come back to a place of balance, we need to include more ways of being that have been traditionally held in a variety of cultures by the women.”
From her personal and professional experience, Jody notes that there are often social and cultural beliefs that influence internal and external expectations around leadership. When Jody looks at all the ways that women bring their own leadership styles to their roles, she sees clear that the world needs this narrow frame to widen.
“Everybody has their unique gift to offer, and everybody brings their own strengths. That means that the way we show up in leadership is going to look different from person to person.”
Jody emphasizes that we can easily be led astray when we adopt leadership styles that are not our own. That can not only but us on a wrong pathway, where we’re not actually amplifying our gifts, but we can also cause harm by trying to claim a style that isn’t ours. For Jody, the most important thing is to know who you are and figure out what intrinsically motivates you. It is vital to consider how to stay in alignment with your values to amplify your unique strengths.
“We are always going to do our best when we are most authentically ourselves, and when we’re most giving of what lights us up.”
Jody feels very fortunate to be on the path that she’s experienced in her life. She wants other people to know that we are best served when we’re committed to being lifelong learners. She hopes that others can stay open to whatever trajectory life brings us on, whether it’s the path we expected or not. She explains that it’s valuable to be able to trust yourself and your inner voice, without letting the expectations of others dictate your life for you.
Mentoring Future Leaders
Jody is now focusing on work that she’s been excited about for several years. This work centers on supporting and coaching other women in positions of formal and informal leadership. She has been providing mentorship of young leaders with a curriculum to best foster growth. Further, Jody has the beginnings of a research project that she intends to take into a PhD program, to lay out what she thinks is an essential element of how we amplify our leadership in the world.
“I feel very strongly that we’re in a period of pivotal change for humanity. We need all the leaders that we can get!”
Jody has always been a listener. Her interest has always been in helping people understand themselves and each other better. When she got into formal conflict management, she was able to recognize this more clearly. Now, she aims to bring all of her experience and personal skillsets together in order to inspire hope and self confidence in the leaders who will be able to guide the world into a brighter future.
In light of her recent work, Jody would love to hear from others about where they feel stuck around leading as well as what they think are the most essential qualities of leadership. Please feel free to connect with Jody about this, as she is curious about any different perspectives on what leadership means as she embarks on the next step of an exciting journey.
Article by Elise Webster, MBBI Writer