Mindfulness and Conflict Engagement

Social movements and political organizations often fail to handle conflict productively because they are unaware of their mental, physical, and emotional responses to conflict. Lacking awareness, typical reactions to conflict include:

• Defensiveness
• Aggressive or passive behavior, and
• “Othering” those with whom we are in conflict

“Mindfulness” means being aware of what is going on around you and inside you, moment to moment. This awareness is neither harsh nor judgmental; rather, it is a kindly curiosity. Such expanded awareness increases our capacity to take skillful strategic action, even in the heat of conflict. When we engage in conflict mindfully, we are aware of our own reactivity, the complexities of the situation, and the humanity of all involved. Then we have the ability to respond to conflicts productively and to contribute to the positive changes we are working to achieve.

What are the Benefits of Engaging Mindfully?

Engaging mindfully helps activists deal skillfully with the conflicts and pressures inherent in working collaboratively for social change.
It also:

• Helps lower our distractibility, reactivity, and stress.
• Increases our self-awareness and our ability to listen deeply and speak authentically.
• Gives undistracted access to our knowledge and strategic thinking.
• Help us act compassionately, with confidence and clear purpose.
• Maximizes our ability to bring a calm, focused presence to bear during conflict and in chaotic or crisis situations.

Mindfulness meditation also promotes self-regulation, good health, and brain development. There is an ever growing body of empirical research on the many benefits of mindfulness meditation.

Basic Concepts

This section will discuss three key concepts:

1. The difference between Mindfulness and Mindful Meditation;
2. The importance of Compassion; and
3. Focusing on Breath

What is the Difference Between Mindfulness and Mindfulness Meditation?

Being Mindful in our lives and our work means paying focused attention, on purpose, without judgment, to what is happening in the present moment. It means having an undistracted compassionate awareness of what is going on right now, both internally - in our own thoughts, body sensations, and emotions - and externally - in our environment and with those around us. 
It includes our ability to notice when we are not being mindful and to bring ourselves back to being clear, calm, and present. We need to practice because, although we all have the ability to pay attention, our minds are easily distracted, floating into the past and the future, and easily clouded by judgments and emotions, especially in the heat of conflict.

There are many was to experience mindfulness, like running, gardening, music making and other practices that manifest this focused nonjudgmental presence. There are many different kinds of meditation, for example: devotional meditation using mantras or prayers, meditative movement practices like yoga and Qi Gong, cultivating particular physical/mental/emotional states, loving kindness meditation, contemplative meditation (addressed here) and more. The most effective way to grow our ability to be mindful under pressure, however, is mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness meditation is a silent practice, done sitting or walking, that builds the muscles we need to be mindful in our lives and work. Beginning meditators learn a “concentration practice” to help build their self-awareness and focusing muscles. Concentration practice involves anchoring our awareness in our breath - and observing our thoughts, body sensations, and emotions coming and going - then intentionally returning our focus to awareness of the breath. The present moment is where we live our lives, where we know ourselves and connect with others. Building our ability to be present and stay present enriches our lives and allows to be skillfully responsive to what is going on inside of us and around us. Mindfulness meditation is sometimes called an “insight practice” because, in noticing our internal landscape, we become aware of our patterns of thinking and feeling, giving rise to greater and deeper self-awareness. When we notice habitual patterns that are no longer useful, we can free ourselves from subconsciously, mindlessly repeating them. Sitting in “bare awareness,” staying present without concentrating on the breath, is a more advanced form of mindfulness meditation.

What’s Compassion Got To Do With It?

Self-compassion is a necessary ingredient for meditation. Without self-compassion, beginning meditators, who are taught to notice their in-breath and their out-breath, often fall prey to defeating beliefs and frustration, and give up meditation practice. Without practice, it is very difficult to build the muscles needed to engage mindfully. With self-compassion, we can release misunderstanding and frustration without engaging in self-defeating struggles.

The most common misunderstanding about mindfulness meditation is that meditators are trying to have a blank mind, empty of thoughts To the contrary, we are noticing our thoughts coming and going with kindness, regardless of the content of the thoughts. If we are sitting and trying not to think, or fighting our thoughts, it is impossible to meditate.

It is also common for beginning meditators to become frustrated by trying to meditate “correctly.” They may struggle with recurrent thoughts like, “I’m doing it wrong. I can’t do this.”  We are quite used to being harsh with ourselves, thinking of compassion as something to be given to others, not to ourselves. When meditating mindfully and with compassion, we notice the thought, “I’m doing it wrong,” but we do not believe the thought. Instead, we notice it with “kindly curiosity” and we gently, compassionately, return to noticing our breath. Treating ourselves with kindness, we develop a sense of ease about being present with ourselves.

In our society, self-compassion can be difficult to attain. It means accepting exactly who we are, what we do and how we look. Because meditation requires us to be compassionate with ourselves, our ‘compassion muscle’ also gets stronger with meditation practice. As a consequence, seeing ourselves with compassion enables us to see others with compassion too, rather than with anger or fear, and helps us be more effective social change agents.

Why Focus on the Breath?

Breath is primal. The first thing we do when we are born is take an in-breath. The last thing we will do before we die is breathe an out-breath. Between birth and death, there is always an in-breath and an out-breath. Thoughts, body sensations, emotions, all come and go. The breath is the only constant.

The breath is also a powerful anchor to the present moment. Each in-breath and each out-breath you notice, is always happening right now. You cannot notice a past breath. You cannot notice a future breath. You can only notice this breath that is happening in this present moment. So every breath we notice brings our awareness immediately to the present.

Although we are often absent, our minds drifting and daydreaming, we live, connect, interact, and take action in the present moment. Mindfulness meditation builds our ability to engage mindfully, with more depth and expansiveness, right here, right now.