Dave Renfro self-identifies as a peacemaker.  He’s the principal and founding officer of J. David Renfro Conflict Resolution Services, LLC, which has the mission of “Assisting Labor-Management Leaders Become Conflict Prepared in a Conflict Prone World.” As a recently retired 22-year veteran Commissioner of Mediation with the Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service (FMCS), Dave joined MBBI to remain active in conflict resolution work. He believes in MBBI’s mission and is contributing his expertise, talents, and time as able and requested.

Dave has over 40 years of labor-management experience in collective bargaining and representation within organized work environments and possesses experiential perspectives on advocacy and neutrality. He is currently on the arbitration roster of the FMCS, an independent federal agency with a mission to preserve and promote labor-management peace and collaboration by providing mediation and conflict resolution services to industry, government agencies, and various other communities.

Peacemaking Demands Creativity

Dave began with FMCS in 1996, when he was assigned to the Dallas, Texas field office. His previous experiences as a Vietnam Combat Veteran, Law Enforcement Officer, and public-school teacher helped shaped his motivation to join FMCS.  This past experience causes Dave to appreciate anything that informs people for perspectives in solving conflicts by means other than violence.

In his university classes and labor-management training programs, Dave frequently ran simulations to assess students’ skill levels in dispute resolution, hostage negotiations, foundations of conflict, and mediation courses. The diversity of conflicts and disputants demand creativity from experienced mediators like Dave in teaching dispute resolution skills and providing practical simulations for future mediators to equip them in responding effectively.

The Mathematics of Language in Peacebuilding

A mediator’s best tool, Dave believes, is communication, especially the power of language. Mediators must pay a lot of attention to listening.  We should also be just as sensitive to and cognizant of how we speak.  To effectively communicate, we must connect by hearing where others are at rather than speaking from where we’re at and just assuming they’ll connect with us.

According to Dave, the term “but” is one of the most disconnecting and even violent words in our language because it is insincere, if not outright deceiving. Statements that include the word “but” tend to turn the listener’s ear to the negative, negating the entire positive parts of a statement. Dave used this sentence as an example: “I like your shirt, but wish it was a different color. This means he didn’t really like your shirt and the insincerity of the “but” demonstrates this.” To that end, Dave encourages people to “keep your ‘buts’ out of other people’s faces. Changing how you speak, changes how others listen and make you a better mediator.”

Inspired by The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) groundbreaking contribution to communications and mediation, Dave believes finding more targeted and peaceful ways to communicate is, in essence, learning how to use language as math.  “In other words, when adding to what someone else has said, rather than subtracting from it, people want to hear what you have to say.  That’s why saying ‘but’ subtracts value while saying ‘and’ adds value. Changing your vocabulary changes how you communicate and how others respond.  “Shooting for a deadline” implies violence while “agreeing on a deadline” implies collaboration.  This minor change makes speech more interactive, direct and peaceful.

The Center for NVC has influenced Dave’s mediation and teaching careers. He views mediations as an instructional tool and process for people in dispute and helps mediators stronger and more effective.

Dave’s message to fellow MBBI members: “Blessed be the peacemakers.”

Article by Ben Lutz, MBBI Writer

A native of Colombia, Catalina Chaux-Echeverri has been an active member of the MBBI network since 2013 and is a Co-Leader of the MBBI-Colombia Project. She is an accredited lawyer, professional coach, and an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) specialist working to end the cycles of violence in communities by focusing on the youth.

Every seed that you plant is huge, never underestimate the power of positive connections to the newer generations. So, embrace your dreams and make them happen!

Catalina is a trilingual mediator bridging the cultural gaps between Latin and Northern America. She now lives in Canada and works with three separate youth-based organizations to impact the lives of children positively from the outset, teaching valuable skills of intercultural understanding, resilience, and conflict management skills. “You can’t bubble wrap conflicts. Instead, find ways to provide growth and learning opportunities. This is so beneficial to long-term development.”

Finding Common Grounds.

From the differences, we can build bridges and be stronger.

These mantras guide her coaching practice, CHECS Consulting Services, where she focuses entirely on resolving conflicts with an emphasis on cultural intelligence. Cultural intelligence is the “awareness of what local communities need and making the finding of local solutions to local problems a priority.” Coming from a unique cultural background herself, she highlights the necessity of understanding the nuances of the community mediators work in.

For example, the phrase “Remove the gloves/the gloves are coming off” in a Northern American context encourages the sides to “go and fight.” Whereas the same phrase in a Latin American context means, “stop fighting and put away the aggressiveness.” This phrase has opposite meanings and so finding the correct types of dialogue is crucial in the mediation settings Catalina works in. Being of this combination of backgrounds has helped her immensely as she is able to focus her conflict management skills on finding the common ground.

This example of the cultural difference is why Catalina has thrived as a coach. She is aware of the cultural dimensions of the conflict and the nuance of each position. Her mediation ability revolves around strong, direct language. “Coaching is a process to give people a moment to reflect on their strengths and choices and think how to gain awareness and to be more effective and successful.” The emphasis on cultural intelligence, languages, nuances, and norms mirrors Catalina’s cultural blend and is how she credits her success as an impactful mediator.

Youth in Mediation

Her mediation, conflict management, and coaching largely focus on youth. She is an active member of three youth-oriented projects in Toronto: LOVE, PACT, and Shift Happens. Leave Out Violence (LOVE) is a community-based program that focuses on art, leadership, and outreach to prevent violence in schools and youth centers. Participation Acknowledgment Commitment Transformation (PACT), Urban Peace Program supports and empowers underserved, marginalized, and at-risk young people as well as youth already in conflict with the law. Shift Happens is a program that aims to ignite and support a sustainable shift in perspective the way youth perceive themselves, make choices, connect with their environment, and lead their lives, using coaching as mail tool

In each of these three organizations, Catalina lends her extensive mediation, ADR and coaching background to provide youth with a positive “GPS for their life through social responsibility coaching.” Specifically, for PACT, she started as a restorative justice practitioner and coach and is now a manager of the coaching program providing tangible skills, learning objectives, and outcomes that are critical to the lifelong success of youth.

Catalina’s biggest driving force is socially-responsible mediation and coaching practices. LOVE, PACT, and Shift Happens, she said, provide her the outlet to continue to give back to her community.

Informal mediations, interventions, facilitation, and coaching can be more powerful and impactful in a young person’s life than formal sessions, and these programs are successful for emphasizing the multitudes of ways to positively impact future generations.

Article by Ben Lutz, MBBI Peace Synergist Writer.